Monday, December 31, 2012

2013 Or Bust

Hey everybody! Did you enjoy your holiday festivities? Are you still on vacation? Lucky! Some of us had to go straight back to work for our personal Scrooges. Personally, I'd prefer the Scrooged version. How awesome would it be to work for an 80s yuppie Bill Murray? Sure he'd abuse his power and unleash a flurry of personal insults just for the hell of it, but somehow it would still be in an irresistibly lovable and hilarious way!

All hail the Murray hair

Or even the Muppet Christmas Carol version, because who wouldn't want to hang with Sir Michael Caine and the Muppets?!

Fun fact: Michael Caine was born Maurice Joseph Micklewhite but adopted the stage name Caine from The Caine Mutiny, starring Humphrey Bogart. And thus, badassery begat badassery.

Whether you're sitting back in the office or still laying on the couch digesting a metric ton of holiday sweets, now comes the season of the inevitable New Year's resolutions. Now I know some of you are tired of the stigma that comes with New Year's resolutions. "UGH! It's so stupid! I don't do that crap because I know I won't do any of them! OMGWTFBBQ!" Well, while you sit atop your high and mighty throne of childish pouting (which is partly what the internet was built for, of course), I will be making an honest attempt at a few minor things I'd like to make happen this coming year.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

Oh the Joys of Socks!

So Tony and I were discussing other things we could post on the blog and I think this is one of those perfect conversations that can be turned into a blog post.  The conversation?  One of the most exhilarating topics known to man. That's right people, SOCKS!

That's the shit right there, oh yea.

On the night shift frequently we have discussions, arguments, debates, and down right old fashioned disagreements. The most recent one was about of all things socks. I maintain that as long as a sock is of the same color and same length, then it is a matching pair. It then is thrown into the generic "sock drawer".  Jose on the other hand believes this thinking tantamount to heresy. It is quite ludicrous that someone would do that.

Not sorting your socks?  WHAT?

Mr Diaz believes that not only must you match socks by brand, thickness, color, and length but also by... get this... left and right socks.  Yes.  A left and a right sock! He maintains that he can tell the difference between a left and a right sock and that wearing a left sock on a right foot is wrong. They must be separated into left and right socks, matched, folded, and placed neatly in a drawer. RIDICULOUS I SAY!

What do you think?  Who's right, who's wrong, and who's just being completely anal retentive about this?

Monday, December 24, 2012

MERRY CHRISTMAS! Here's a new episode!

MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY! Here is your official FULL-LENGTH Episode 3 as promised. Todd, Tony and Jose explore all sorts of madness including classic cartoons, crappy experiences at the movies, The Hobbit vs Lord of the Rings (very minor Hobbit spoilers from 27:33-33:16), heroic deeds in gaming, and the dangers of pissing off Samuel L. Jackson.

I am currently rushing out the door to head down to San Diego for the holiday, so I didn't even bother recording an intro on this one. Enjoy the festivities, PLEASE drive safe so as not to cause mayhem in the rainy traffic, and see you guys soon! Thanks for listening!

Friday, December 21, 2012

Launch(pad McQuack)

Merry Christmas, everyone! Yes, I'm saying Merry Christmas, not Happy Holidays. You are too sensitive, America. You and your separate "Christmas" and "Holiday" Starbucks coffee roasts. They're the exact same beans in different packages, and they both taste like dirt anyway! Okay, okay fine. Happy Christmahanakwanzika, everybody! ...And to Jehovah's Witnesses who don't celebrate anything this time of year, well... hope you're having a decent month.

Shnazzy multi-cultural holiday logo by Bill Bennett

Welcome to the official launch of the Getting Off Topic blog. [insert annoying party horn sound effect] As you can see, it's a bit of a fixer-upper, but we can't afford to pay knowledgeable minions to do our bidding yet, and the last time I attempted to create a personal website was sometime around the glory days of such fabled services as GeoCities, Angelfire, Homestead and Xanga. ...I may or may not have had one of each. MUST HAVE SEIZURE-INDUCING FLASHING/SCROLLING TEXT! DANCING HAMSTER GIFs EVERYWHERE! MIDI MUSIC WITH NO STOP BUTTON! (MANIACAL LAUGH)